I spent a lot of evenings and weekends alone.So here I was in the big city. Tonight, instead of heading home I thought I'd drop in at the local bar, "The Dugout" and see what was going on. I didn't want to be alone tonight, since it was Friday night. I found out about this place from some of the girls at the office, they'd come here for lunch sometimes and I had gone with them on occasions. I noticed a familiar face at the dartboard and struggled to remember where I had seen her before. She came up to the bar and noticed me right off. "Rose Brooks?" she inquired. "Yes, that's me" I replied still racking my brain as to where I had seen her. "Remember me? I was in line with you when I was renewing my drivers license, Ann Andrews.' She reached out her hand to shake mine. "Yes of course, I remember now, I was changing my Missouri license to a Michigan one. Wow, that was about three months ago, I'm surprised you recognized me." I said. Well Rose you're not easy to forget, practically. Because of my husband’s vasectomy, I wasn’t on the pill and despite my previous unplanned conception, the idea of using a condom or anything else still hadn’t even occurred to me. I hadn’t expected to have a weekend of sex when I had stormed out of the house that fateful Friday evening and had had completely unprotected sex multiple times. So the answer is simple in practical terms - in psychological terms, things get much murkier. Why in God’s name had I been so careless, so irresponsible? After all I had been through the first time, why did I let it happen again? I have only come up with a few possible answers: Is it possible that I am the kind of girl so flattered by the attention of an attractive man or so driven by animal lust that it overwhelmed my natural defences and turned my brain to jelly? Given that I have had so few partners in my life and have only had two children, this seems unlikely. Was it just a subconscious desire for revenge against my cheating, deceitful.
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